The outpouring of responses to Charlie Kirk’s assassination was vast. Vigils were held across the world. Memorials were planned. No one talked about anything else. The alleged assassin was in custody days later. Debates over the official story ensued.

After a bizarre response from Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, Candace Owens questioned the narratives surrounding what she described as a Kennedy/King-level assassination and cover-up of one of her closest friends. The media landscape would attack her immediately, choosing to vilify her rather than debate her claims.

No one was off the table. Not even President Trump’s FBI. Dan Bongino and Kash Patel took the brunt of backlash for the cover-up, not surprising after their responses to the Epstein Files fell flat.

TPUSA and TPUSA Faith had been infiltrated, and Candace was naming those with curious behaviors. Charlie Kirk’s security chief, Brian Harpole, had an awkward interview on The Shawn Ryan Show.

There were suspicious communications with Israel and France. Egyptian planes that had turned off their transponders. Clandestine meetings at a Arizona military base, Fort Huachuca, in the days leading up to Kirk’s death. His own widow, Erika Kirk, was questioned when she took the reins as CEO of Turning Point USA.

A battle for Charlie’s legacy had clearly begun. From a last-minute memorial at the Cardinals stadium in Arizona, to keeping The Charlie Kirk Show and social media accounts running, to Ben Shapiro buying a speaking spot at AmericaFest.

Shapiro would criticize Tucker Carlson for trying to reconcile disagreements with Nick Fuentes; Candace Owens for seeking the truth behind Kirk’s assassination; Megyn Kelly for not joining the online chorus attacking Owens; and his former Breitbart colleague, Steve Bannon, for being a fringe voice on the right.

It wasn’t just Charlie Kirk’s legacy, but the truth of who he was when he died that fueled the America First/Pro-Israel debate. TPUSA went one way. Candace Owens went another.

Charlie’s life was not pointed toward himself or how big TPUSA could get, but toward Jesus Christ. Truth. Hope for the youth of America, in a future they could look forward to. Compassion for those who have given in to the lies promoted by society.

I was engaged in the spiritual details and the evidential timeline, not the biases, ad hominem, gatekeeping, or purity tests. Still, I had a break from social media built into the schedule with our upcoming trip.

During our two-week vacation in Florida, I had discussions with three people that would help reorient my return to Texas. A sister I hadn’t seen in over ten years talked about the spirituality of it all. A friend from our time in New Mexico and I discussed timelines in the book of Revelation.

And even though I’d left The Rubin Report community, I had kept in touch with one person through X. I used this opportunity to visit his farm and reconcile the changes we’d seen in media, politics, and life.

The return home would foreshadow troubles ahead. A shaky Airbnb cabin rental. A broken vehicle hatch. A check engine light that indicated an O2 sensor issue. I had succeeded in giving my son a new core memory and returned us home safely. Firestone would fix the vehicle.

My son had a week of follow-up appointments after the trip. He had healed the month before, so we went for final blood tests. We declined further care as the gastroenterologist wanted to go straight to scoping for diagnostics, rather than treat the symptoms presented. Why do that to a child unnecessarily?

With everything going on behind the scenes with the Epstein Files, protecting my son was the only thing on my mind. I was done with the state healthcare system, and he had returned to his pre-illness weight without continuing symptoms.

The next Monday evening, our German Shepherd of ten years, Ellie, had a splenic mass rupture. The vet informed me it must have sealed itself overnight, but her time would be short. I thought days. I prepared. Despite my concern, I had volunteered to perform mock interviews at the high school as a solopreneur two days later. I was inspired by the next generation and picked up a couple gigs for December with hope.

Ellie passed away three weeks later, an hour after I returned home from my latest gig. I canceled the remaining contracts. I was emotionally destroyed as her missing presence filled every room of our home.

It felt like the hits kept coming. I prayed again for God’s leadership and discernment. I volunteered to help Pug Johnson with a home studio livestream, giving me a small reprieve from the grief. We attended a Christmas Eve candlelight service with my mother-in-law. Ellie was always excited to have her visit, watching every move and laying close to her.

I had attempted to plan my next forty days of recovery. A memorial video for Quinn’s Next Step. A week of grief. A week of reclaiming the spaces Ellie held, waiting to hear her scratch, expecting a look here or there, imagining her lying down wherever she wanted. A week of Christmas. A week of New Year’s. Two weeks leading to my next birthday, and a dinner with the owners of Studios at Fischer.

A dishwasher leak appeared ten minutes before the ball dropped on New Year’s Eve, but it was something I could repair, like the van or upgrades in our last house. The solutions were evident with objects.

The loss of Charlie Kirk in September and Ellie in December, our son’s sickness, dealing with doctors, and his recovery, had left me with only one solution – God.

Whatever deception the devil intends to use for harm or to dissuade people from knowing the Truth will only reveal God’s glory in the end. I had excused why I couldn’t perform at a higher level.

If to be a Christian means to be ‘like Christ’, then I had never seen or realized a better example than Charlie Kirk. He spoke Truth to religious and political powers and was killed for it in his early thirties. Patrick Bet-David called him a combination of Reverend Billy Graham and radio icon Rush Limbaugh.

Inspired to start anew, I began preplanning episodes for Quinn’s Next Step to be released in the third week of January; creating lists for a business promotion series, commentary series, online interviews, and an influencer marketing campaign.

I made kitchen repairs and ordered a new dishwasher. I prepared for dinner with the owners of Studios at Fischer. I pruned independent podcasters from my YouTube and X feed who revealed themselves to be anything but. I deleted video games from my phone so that time could be used more productively elsewhere.

It was a new year and a new outlook. “Be obedient and go where God leads. Stop seeking. Be still and know that He is God.”

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