I Didn’t Know Charlie Kirk. His Death Changed Me Anyway

by John-Quinn Mulquin Jr.

A Utah judge ruled last Friday that cameras will remain in the courtroom for the trial of Tyler Robinson, the man accused of fatally shooting Charlie Kirk. The preliminary hearing has been pushed to July 6. The proceedings continue. The media cycle churns. And somewhere in a Hill Country farmhouse, a veteran and author is watching all of it — because he lived it in real time, and put it in a book.

What Was Meant for Harm launched May 8, 2026. The timing is not lost on me.


I Didn’t Plan to Write About Charlie Kirk

Attribution: Gage Skidmore, Wikimedia Commons

When I started writing this media memoir, Charlie Kirk was one voice among many I was tracking in a shifting media landscape. He showed up in my life the way he showed up in a lot of people’s lives — through a college campus speech, a podcast clip, a debate highlight. I was a combat medic who’d come home from Iraq, rebuilt his life from scratch, and was trying to make sense of a country that seemed to be coming apart at the seams.

By 2021, the picture had sharpened. The memoir records what I observed:

Charlie Kirk built Turning Point USA into a powerhouse, showing how the Fruit of the Spirit could be applied to American values in the political youth landscape.

That’s not flattery. That’s what I saw from the outside looking in — a man who understood that the culture war was first a spiritual war, and who organized accordingly.


He Kept Showing Up

The memoir spans years of American turbulence. Kirk keeps appearing — not because I engineered it, but because he was there. By 2024:

Charlie Kirk and Turning Point USA were credited with their Get Out the Vote campaign. Kirk was also credited with bringing former Democratic candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr. and the MAHA movement into the MAGA Trump administration.

Whether you agreed with his politics or not, Kirk was doing something that mattered: he was building, connecting, and showing up. He was a bridge-builder at a time when most people were burning them.

And I was watching. Taking notes. Living my own version of the American story — the veteran who couldn’t find his footing, the father trying to hold his family together, the man who believed God wasn’t done with him yet.


Then September Came

I was tearing down a porch roof on September 1st — literally, physically dismantling something broken so something better could be built. That’s also what the memoir is about.

I was uploading footage when the news broke.

I was uploading the video for editing, simultaneously listening to YouTube and scrolling on X, when the news of Charlie Kirk’s assassination appeared. One shot. One hit. One dead.

What followed was grief I didn’t expect. I reposted his words. I prayed publicly on X. I wrote out a prayer that I still stand behind — and included it in full in the book, because it captures what that moment revealed in me:

“I am sad. I am angry. I did not personally know @charliekirk11, but like many of you, trust that God has used Charlie to great effect. An American Patriot, but more importantly, a soldier for Christ.”

I meant every word. I still do.


What His Death Unlocked

There’s a moment in grief — if you’re honest enough to stay in it — where the loss stops being just loss and starts being a mirror. Kirk’s death did that for me. The book goes there:

A part of me was jealous. I wished I could have taken that bullet. His life was worth more than mine. I might have deserved to die, but Charlie did not. I knew in my spirit that I was learning something I hadn’t learned before. I didn’t have the words yet, only the sense that something in me had changed.

That’s not performance. That’s what it felt like in my home studio on a Tuesday in September. My wife and I cried. We told our son. I prayed with the youth group that evening.

His death became a turning point for me — not in spite of my faith, but because of it.


The Bigger Picture

Patrick Bet-David called Kirk a combination of Reverend Billy Graham and radio icon Rush Limbaugh. That framing is in the book, and I think it holds. The number of lives touched — thirteen years on college campuses, millions of podcast listeners, strategic influence over presidential politics — staggers the imagination when you sit with it.

And yet what the book ultimately argues is that Kirk’s greatest work wasn’t political. It was personal. It was the witness. It was the man who could have become a media personality who instead chose to be a servant of Christ in public life.

His death re-awakened my spirit to the evils of this world, truth behind conspiracies, and the importance of open free speech and conversation. God would use Kirk’s death in my life as a springboard into a season of tremendous sorrow — but one that would lead to restored faith and future hope.

That’s the arc of What Was Meant for Harm. And it’s why I wrote it now, rather than ten years from now when the edges had softened.


This Book Is For You If…

You watched the Kirk coverage and felt something shift inside you. You’re a veteran trying to find language for what the civilian world doesn’t understand. You’ve been following the conservative media landscape and wondered where faith fits into all of it. You’ve had a turning point you haven’t put words to yet.

This memoir puts words to mine — combat, divorce, fatherhood, faith, failure, and the slow, grueling work of becoming who God made you to be.


Get the book on Amazon — Kindle, paperback, and hardcover: https://a.co/d/05juIdfJ

What Was Meant for Harm — Available now.


John-Quinn Mulquin Jr. is a U.S. Army veteran, author, and founder of Quinn’s Next Step. He lives in Texas with his wife and son.

She Was Gone Before I Knew It Was Goodbye


Summer 2020. I didn’t realize it was the last visit.

Yesterday was Mother’s Day.

I didn’t post. I didn’t share. I sat with it.

My heart is heavier as two mothers of loved ones recently passed away. Both women were kind to me and my family. Our prayers of God’s peace go out to their families during this time of grief.

There are some years where the day lands differently — not louder, just deeper. This was one of them.

My mom passed away in late October 2020.

The last time I saw her in person was that summer. I wrote about it in my memoir, What Was Meant for Harm, in a chapter simply titled The Loss:

“The last time I visited with my mother in person was in the summer of 2020. We talked about her retirement in three years. We discussed her relationships with her parents, and how her soul personality developed. We reflected on relationships with my father and the stepfathers that had affected our journeys. We cried when we laughed at our own ridiculousness. We cried when we grieved for each other’s pains and losses. Her wrinkles showed a life lived with love.

I didn’t know it then, but that summer conversation would become one of the most important memories of my life. It felt like a final moment of understanding and reconciliation before the world grew even more chaotic.”

If your mom is still here, call her. Tell her the thing you’ve been meaning to say.

If she’s not — you already know. You carry it the same way I do. Especially on days like yesterday.

What Was Meant for Harm is available now on Amazon in Kindle, paperback, and hardcover. Chapter 5 is the one I wrote for her.

📖 Get the book → Amazon


— Quinn

Now Available

TODAY is the day. It’s officially here.

What Was Meant for Harm: A Media Memoir of Faith, Fracture, and the Fight for Truth is now available in ebook and print editions.

It’s my honest account of navigating media chaos, personal grief, and spiritual reckoning — and finding that God uses every season for the good of those who love Him. It covers everything from Iraq to the Texas Hill Country, from mainstream media to independent creators, from loss to renewal, from searching to surrender.

If you’ve walked any part of this road with me, if you believe in what I’m doing — please share. You can grab your copy on Amazon, or visit quinnsnextstep.com.

Thank you. ♠

#WhatWasMeantForHarm #Faith #Veteran #Author

The Firm Foundation

“… The world locked down, burned, argued, censored, and unraveled. And in the middle of that chaos, I lost people I loved, questioned the path I was on, and found myself being drawn back to the only foundation that doesn’t shift.”

— excerpt from What Was Meant for Harm

Official release tomorrow. Pre-order at quinnsnextstep.com. ♠

#WhatWasMeantForHarm #Faith #Veteran #Author

The Purpose of Creation

“Creation was the one place where the noise didn’t drown out the purpose. But what was that purpose? Why did I keep showing up?”

— excerpt from What Was Meant for Harm: A Media Memoir of Faith, Fracture, and the Fight for Truth

TWO days until release. Pre-order at quinnsnextstep.com ♠

#WhatWasMeantForHarm #Faith #Veteran #Author

Calm Before the Storm

“… That summer conversation would become one of the most important memories of my life. It felt like a final moment of understanding and reconciliation before the world grew even more chaotic.”

— excerpt from What Was Meant for Harm

THREE days until release. Pre-order at quinnsnextstep.com ♠

#WhatWasMeantForHarm #Faith #Veteran #Author

The Shift

“It felt like every institution was being exposed at once. Hollywood, politics, media, and the rules of public judgment were changing overnight…”

— excerpt from What Was Meant for Harm: A Media Memoir of Faith, Fracture, and the Fight for Truth

FOUR days until release. Pre-order at quinnsnextstep.com ♠

#WhatWasMeantForHarm #Faith #Veteran #Author

The Military-to-Media Journey

“At twenty-nine, sitting outside the MEPS station in Phoenix in front of a Burger King, I prayed a desperate prayer. ‘God, if I do this, my life is in Your hands.’…”

— excerpt from What Was Meant for Harm: A Media Memoir of Faith, Fracture, and the Fight for Truth

FIVE days until release. Pre-order at quinnsnextstep.com ♠

#WhatWasMeantForHarm #Faith #Veteran #Author

Why It Exists & Who It’s For

“If you’ve ever felt disoriented by the world around you…

if you’ve ever watched institutions crumble and wondered what to trust…

if you’ve ever walked through loss and found your faith sharpened in the process…

then this story is for you.”

— excerpt from What Was Meant for Harm: A Media Memoir of Faith, Fracture, and the Fight for Truth

SIX days until release. Pre-order at quinnsnextstep.com ♠

#WhatWasMeantForHarm #Faith #Veteran #Author

ONE WEEK. The countdown has officially begun.

What Was Meant for Harm: A Media Memoir of Faith, Fracture, and the Fight for Truth drops on May 8th.

This book is for anyone who has watched the world fall apart and wondered what God was doing in the midst of it all. It’s my honest account of navigating media chaos, personal loss, and spiritual reckoning… and finding that God uses every season — even the strangest ones — for the good of those who love Him.

Pre-order your ebook or print copy at quinnsnextstep.com/preorder ♠