My hope in January faded as fast as any celebration of Trump’s reelection. I had proposed a contract to the Studios at Fischer for the year on a part-time basis, but it was decided they had to keep me as needed. I continued to work with Pug Johnson as the Studios prepared to celebrate their 10-year anniversary in April.

Eight days of audio and video gigs in January and five days in February weren’t going to cut it. There was no crew for me to join during SXSW in March as the Austin Convention Center was deep into its demolition. I looked for more contractors in the gig economy. I continued to apply and interview through Indeed, LinkedIn, and other company websites.

I had been meeting weekly with a friend from the Wimberley Chamber of Commerce for about six months, discussing work, faith, scripture, and current events. We discussed what the Torah meant to Christians today, about how we should live life. It was good fellowship and conversation. I had an employment issue, however, and had not attempted therapy to work through what was going on in my mind. My first monthly appointment came at the end of February.

Whether it was my faith, knowledge of the DSM from Army medical training, or four decades of talking to people, I suspected the therapist would get more out of the next six months than I would. The therapist focused on the manual with a treatment goal to “Reduce overthinking to improve clarity and emotional balance across life domains.”

I leaned into what Ken Coleman from the Dave Ramsey Network wrote in From Paycheck to Purpose, “A goal to combine my strengths and passions to produce the results I wanted to see.”

I took every therapy assignment to task. Researching cognitive distortions while reading The Tuttle Twins Guide to Beware Your Bias with my son for homeschool gave me the perspectives needed to watch Candace Owens, Tucker Carlson, Charlie Kirk, and Megyn Kelly emerge as dominant voices in the national conversation.

Tucker Carlson interviewed the Qatari Prime Minister, while exclaiming his freedom to buy property in Qatar while visiting. Candace Owens premiered her Becoming Brigitte Macron, Epstein Files, and Harvey Speaks series as online debates flared up. Charlie Kirk would go on to embarrass California Governor Gavin Newsom on his own podcast.

Megyn Kelly went from interviewing Secretary of State Marco Rubio to being interviewed by Stephen A. Smith, who joined the political debate independently of his lucrative ESPN contract.

The media landscape was changing and expanding. Podcasters were given a chair in the White House briefing room for the first time. Over a dozen conservative online influencers were given “Phase 1” binders of unclassified Epstein Files. Independent creators were on the rise again.

The following week, Ian Carroll appeared on The Joe Rogan Experience, discussing his investigations into food company ownership and Epstein connections to the state of Israel, creating viral reactions from critics. Dave Smith pointed out on X that those attacking Carroll were doing so personally rather than debunking any of his claims. Watching the reaction reminded me of Herman Cain’s S.I.N. acronym for debates – Switch the subject, Ignore the facts, and Name-calling.

The Israel/Gaza ceasefire had collapsed despite Qatar’s mediation attempts, and the debates increased again. Having just gone over the bias of an Appeal to Authority with my son, I laughed at Douglas Murray’s “Have you even been there?” argument against Dave Smith, with Joe Rogan as the debate moderator. I am certain my military experience in Kirkuk, Iraq was different than an IDF-supported reporter’s experience in Israel. Neither experience is evidence, only anecdote. And an anecdote isn’t an argument.

A break from my normal, I purchased a ticket to see Michael Malice with Kurt Metzger at The Creek and Cave in Austin, Texas for his first live recording of Your Welcome. Malice was kind and gracious to sign my copy of The White Pill and answer a couple of nervously asked questions about knowing Roseanne Barr after the show.

My discernment and focus felt strong, yet aimless. Springtime brought more gig contracts, job interviews that went great but didn’t pan out, and the beginning of a porch roof building series for Quinn’s Next Step. I knew my building plan was crap, but I was riding my show’s theme of failing and falling down, getting up, and moving forward. I attempted to find a local sponsor in exchange for video services but eventually gave up.

Despite my best efforts, something was missing. I wasn’t catching up or getting ahead. I wasn’t doing what I loved most, what I was best at, or producing the results I wanted to see. I was ready to sell the house and start fresh like I had done in other debt situations. After six years of trying different local churches, we chose to attend one we had often visited for special events, but never Sunday services. We looked at houses for sale in the area afterward.

By the time we pulled back in the driveway, I felt the Holy Spirit tell me that we would not be selling the house and that we would be a part of the community. To my dismay, this meant another consolidation refinance, but I knew it was the right thing to do.

Combining values of faith, equipping and protecting youth like our son, and a desire for a job well done, my wife and I offered to help at the church. I had been working on live events for over five years and that’s what I knew churches did. It made sense.

However, given my distrust of authority and lifelong experience in youth groups and churches as an adult, the institutional commitment wasn’t one I could consider unless it was employment.

I continued to meet with the pastor on occasion, in addition to increasing therapy to weekly sessions. I also still had regular coffee fellowship with my friend from the chamber as the summer months rolled in.  I was truly looking for my next step.

I picked up a couple more contractors working brand ambassador gigs to fill the gaps between audio and video jobs throughout the summer. After horrific July floods in Kerrville, Texas hit close to home, I was introduced to another local country music artist, Austin Meade. We filmed his music video for Honey Do Ya and participated in Applause for the Cause, a benefit for flood victims, recording him and others at the Whitewater Amphitheater.

Texas Senator Ted Cruz was famously on vacation in Greece during the tragedy. A backlash pile-on following his disastrous foreign policy and faith debate with Tucker Carlson just weeks prior. TPUSA’s Student Action Summit in Florida would come shortly thereafter, with no shortage of controversy.

Charlie Kirk interviewed Megyn Kelly regarding fallout from the DOJ handling of the Epstein Files. Kirk also moderated a debate on Israel between Dave Smith and Josh Hammer that highlighted the divisions at a national level.

Tucker Carlson would “Go Max” with his own critiques of U.S. foreign policies, Israeli influence in U.S. politics, and would-be censors of free speech and honest journalism.

Commentators on the right encouraged debate, yet the separation between America First and Israel First supporters within the MAGA movement, MAHA crowd, and Trump administration had reached a boiling point. It wasn’t just the country. Without any fall contracts on the schedule, I had, too.

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