I have made a few changes lately. Quinnsnextstep.com was reduced to the blog and book order page. I deleted TikTok, Rumble, Locals, Facebook, and other outreach channels. I removed the service offerings I was looking to provide others. The reasoning behind the decision is that I stretched my capabilities and resources as far as I could, and now it is time to retract.

Like the mythological creature I utilize in my logo, the phoenix, I am always being renewed. I look for things that are not working, distracting, or barriers to burn up and make room for what God is preparing me for.

I set it all ablaze.

What I believed was “patient endurance” (Hebrews 10:36) turned out to be me “jumping the gun.”

What was I working towards?

What prompted my actions?

Maybe it was reaching out to others who did not respond. Perhaps it was submitting resumes without results. I was told a few years ago that I do not “own my own shit,” by a loved one, which I knew was not true. I began the year with the phrase “extreme ownership,” but was quickly reminded, in spirit, that I have no ownership, but stewardship.

One story I tell to illustrate ownership versus stewardship is from my time in the early 2000s at TGI Fridays. A server would deliver dirty dishes to the dishwasher, observing another server, typically bartender, leaving dishes at the stand without clearing them. The next server would stop in their tracks, and yell out, “Who left their dishes here,” signaling their interrupted workflow.

To keep things going, I developed a perception to streamline this situation for myself. The dishes belong to TGI Fridays. Rather than wasting time to find the person responsible for not doing the job correctly, I would take care of it and move on with my shift. I cannot control what other people say or do, but I can do my best to control how I move forward.

If you are familiar with my work history, you can see that I do not stay at a place too long. Stagnation without growth has been my baseline reasoning. A mentor in life insurance encouraged me to burn bridges, so that I may not return to my unsatisfying, yet comfortable work in restaurants or retail. If I discovered that I did not have a future with a company, I bounced.

I had always been told about the career ladder, but had not found one that fit my personality, experiences, talents, gifts and education. Independent contracting since exiting the military seemed the only viable option, leading me to my last post being “back where I have always been.”

In writing this piece as a continuation, I looked up a couple historical thinkers to determine what might be a deeper cause.

Friedrich Nietzsche viewed human actions as competing drives at expressing and increasing power, rejecting free will in the traditional sense. Action, in Nietzsche’s view, is prompted by “active, expansive, and often antagonistic forces that seek resistance in order to overcome it.” This makes sense to me as I have tried to better myself, my condition, and my future outlook.

Carl Jung viewed action as prompted by a more complex interplay of “instincts, psychic energy, the will, complexes, and archetypes, all oriented toward the process of individuation.” The five instinctive factors Jung identified driving behavior are hunger, sexuality, activity, reflection, and creativity. My instincts have led me back to God and reflection, staying active in the creative ways I have chosen to move forward.

Psychology might be part of the answer I was looking for, but it did not include the spiritual aspect I have lived with most of my life. Was it the conflict between mind and spirit that invited me back to prayer? If God wasn’t in it, I know any choices I made were made in vain. I thought if I did nothing, God would have nothing to use.

How naïve of me to think I could have anything to do with what God was doing. If I want God to use me, work in me and through me, why couldn’t I just wait for Him to lead me? With the Spirit as my guide, I knew I had to return to scripture. A quick search on “waiting” reminded me why I needed to wait.

Psalm 27:14 – “Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.”

Psalm 130:5 – “I wait for the LORD, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope.”

Micah 7:7 – “But as for me, I watch in hope for the LORD, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me.”

Romans 8:25 – “But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.”

My problem wasn’t the waiting, but how I was waiting. I had been impatient. I had lost hope. I stopped watching. I thought waiting was weak. My heart had been broken by placing false hope in people and employment. Relationships I once valued had ceased. I quit jobs before they could let me go, believing there was somewhere better for me. I had a sense that I simply did not belong, so I left.

God’s Spirit has guided and moved me throughout my life, whether I was kicking and screaming or whether I was submitting to Him and riding on faith. I have gone in the wrong direction more times than I can count, but God’s faithfulness moved me to where He wanted me to be. I am grateful that when I have lost heart, God hasn’t lost sight of me.

Admittedly, many of my actions were driven by insecurity or fear.

“I am not good enough.”

“Nobody cares to keep me around.”

“I just don’t fit in.”

While faith handled the things out of my control, I controlled what I could do next. Searching aimlessly. Putting myself out into the world to see what God would do with it. Many great conversations came from this method. While I saw purpose behind the conversations, none of them gave me a future to look forward to. They lacked actionable value for my family and community.

What changed in 2026 is what I have had to discard. This is something I am still working through. The videos I spent a decade creating. The networks built over seven years in the hill country. Individuals I had looked to for inspiration and encouragement, no longer present. Employment opportunities no longer a fit. The disappointments that came with my perceived failure.

I began with a Lent-timed fast in February. I began writing. The challenges with writing, editing, formatting, and self-publishing were overcome with prayer and perseverance. Disappointments mounted when I reached out to ten people I trusted to receive feedback on the draft. After a month of waiting, two individuals completed the request. Two gave surface feedback after scanning the material flippantly. One wanted to give verbal feedback two weeks after the requested deadline. The other five didn’t even bother reaching out after agreeing to assist.

What Was Meant for Harm went live on Amazon on May 8^th, 2026, without any large marketing push beyond social media channels. I sold twenty books to date while my local library made it available in print and e-book. Two books I purchased were placed into our community library only to be stolen and placed on Thriftbooks. I sold one book at a flea market to a 90-year-old French military veteran who encouraged me.

I tried to turn the book into a viable business plan to help others tell their stories. A two-month contract to be used as a test case ended abruptly. The client expressed his view that I was incapable of helping others and communicating effectively, going so far as to imply that my writing was A.I.. While I have used A.I.s for editorial recommendations, my train of thought is my own. A.I. is a tool, not a producer. Maybe he was right about communicating and helping others. I had failed, again.

He moved on and I was encouraged to stop looking for people to help and start looking to help myself. I had neglected myself, my family, and my home, having given my time, talent, and treasure to others in non-reciprocal transactions. I had tried to build something that God had not led.

I can confidently say that God led me to write the book. I am in awe that it even exists. I was led to write, so here I am continuing to write. I pray it helps others as I believe it is helping me to reflect, assess, and wait for the next step.

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